Everyone has that one friend that makes friends wherever they go, the life of the party so to speak. How do they do that so well and yet you struggle with knowing what to say or who to approach?
The most successful people seem to use the same simple techniques to gain attention and keep the people they meet, intrigued. It seems so effortless for some, yet nail-biting for others. Included are some easy tips to help even the shyest of persons gain confidence to meet and greet.
A smile goes a long way. A frown or scowl turns people away. When a person smiles, their eyes light up and they appear warm and approachable. Smile, it makes people wonder what you’ve been up to or what you might be thinking about. All kidding aside, try smiling at everyone you meet for one day and see how your smile makes others smile back.
Eye contact is very important. It shows someone that what they are talking about is important. For deaf people, their eyes are everything. It shows depth of conversation, evaluates body language and much more. Eyes tell a lot about a person. Combined with a smile, a person who maintains eye contact, feels that the conversation holds value. Staring wide-eyed and unblinking can make people feel awkward and uncomfortable though. Smiling and looking at the person you are speaking to, goes a long way.
A firm handshake is very important. Look into someone’s eyes with a smile and extend your hand to shake their hand. Shake firmly but don’t break their hand. Reach forward and grasp the palm. Don’t be a fish and gently grab a person’s fingertips.
Additionally, there are those, that due to virus and germs, are fist bumping instead of handshaking to avoid germs. Gloves can be representative of someone who doesn’t trust others. If catching a cold or a bug from someone is in the back of your mind, carry hand sanitizer but only after the person has walked away.
A handshake used to be a gentleman’s promise and still should be considered as such. If a more caring handshake is needed, grasp the hand and cradle their hand with your other hand. This is a hug in a handshake and might be equally as important as a valuable tool to make a good impression.
The best role model starts with you. If you want to be looked up to, set the example first. People watch people all the time. If you are always in the corner shyly, you may seem unapproachable. If you want people to approach you, you approach them. What’s the worst that can happen? They may not speak to you, they may turn away but you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. This could be the start of a new business opportunity or a new budding friendship or love romance.
If you want people to see you as a warm caring individual; show it. All people watch other people. Let the people watching you, see you as the one with the smile and happy look about them. Be a good role model.
You want respect? Be respectful:
How can you expect respect if you are not respectful of others? Respect people’s privacy and desire to talk or not to talk. Sometimes people have nothing to say which is not a reflection of their character or personality. Sometimes people clash which again has nothing to do with you, it is about them. Put your best foot forward and show you are caring. If you want to be respected, act respectful. Your behaviour speaks volumes. Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk as well.
You don’t know their story!
You don’t always know someone’s story, so don’t assume. Everyone has a story and an outcome. We can choose to live through our stories, become our story, or live in an old story. Be kind and generous to everyone you meet and it will come back to you. Be the person you want others to believe you are. Truly show your brilliant beautiful colours and people will draw near.
For the most part, we are who we appear to be as seen by others. Look at someone with the biggest smile and extend your hand with caring and kindness. Smiles are seen as warmth by other people. So the next time you are walking down the street, smile at the person that passes you by. You might have just made their day and it will make your own as well. Say hello when you walk past. If they pause to stop, introduce yourself briefly without giving your life story to a stranger.
You are the life of your own party. Choose to be the one that others say is the life of the party.
C. A. Keith